My Journey

March 3, 2008

Mary's memorial service will be held on Saturday, March 8th at 1:00.  The location will be the Fife High School gymnasium.  A rectption will be held following the service to allow for guests to share the many wonderful stories about Mary.  The family asks that in lieu of flowers or cards that donations be sent in her memory to the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance.

February 26, 2008

Mary passed away at 5:30 a.m. at the University of Washington Medical Center.  She was in the company of her husband and daughter at the time of her death.  Planning for the upcoming memorial services are under way and will be announced shortly.

February 23, 2008

Unfortunately Mary's condition continues to decline and the decision has been made to keep her at the University of Washington Medical Center rather than risk transport to a hospice care facility.  She is currently surrounded by the people that mean the most to her; her husband, her children and their spouses, her brother and sister, and her aunt and uncle.

February 22, 2008

Mary's condition has deteriorated over these last few days and the family and medical staff have elected to end her chemotherapy treatments and focus on her comfort.  The plan is to stabilize her and then move her into hospice care in the next couple of days. 

February 17, 2008

After a brief return to the comforts of home, Mary was admitted to the University of Washington Hospital in Seattle.  Currently she is experiencing extreme confusion and disorientation.  Doctors are unsure about the cause of this due to the fact that she has been on several medications since her recent diagnosis.  The family wishes at this point to keep visitors to a minimum due to her mental state and the fact that she is susceptible to outside viruses.

February 12, 2008

Just recently, Mary received bad news that the cancer returned only this time to her spine and liver.  She has been at Good Samaritan Hospital in Puyallup since February 3 due to complications with infection. 

Fife High School's message to Mary:

http://www.fifeschools.com/media/TDM/maryfore.html

December 27, 2007

I wanted to let all of you know that I did receive the best Christmas present ever.  Bob and I met with Dr. Blau on Thursday, the 20th, and all of my tests were negative and I am in remission!  I thank God and thank all of you for your prayers and support.  It doesn’t even seem like it has been a whole year since my diagnosis.  When I look back on what has transpired in the last year I can’t even say it has been a horrible experience but I know it would have been a lot rougher if I hadn’t had the Lord, my family and friends to lean on.  I also know my life will never be the same.  Hopefully it will be better after realizing just how precious every moment is.  I have so many thoughts but can’t seem to put them into words.  Please continue praying for anyone else that you know is going through this disease or any other trial.  One of these days those prayers are going to help cure cancer! 

Have a wonderful new year!

November 29, 2007

Thanksgiving was a wonderful time to reflect on the past year and be thankful for time with family.  I finished my radiation the Friday before Thanksgiving and was also thankful for that.  I will have my restaging tests on Dec. 17th and will hopefully find out the results when I see my Oncologist on Dec. 20th.  I’ve decided to take the Winter Break off from work so that I will be free to deal with whatever the test results are.  I’m planning for the worst and hoping for the best.  Either way it would be hard to be at work.  I’m so thankful for all of you and wish you the best holiday season ever!    

November 16, 2007

I don't realize until I go to update this website how much time has flown by since my last entry.  I have my last radiation treatment today!  Yes, I've already gone for radiation 34 times.  My car may automatically head in that direction on Monday.  I did end up with Lymphedema in my left arm.  This condition is caused by a combination of losing so many lymph nodes and what's left is having to work over time and the radiation can add to the problem.  I go to a Lymphedema Clinic at St. Francis Outpatient center now for therapy and I also have to wear a wrap or sleeve on my arm and hand.  I feel it is a small price to pay if that is the only side effect of treatment left to deal with.  My husband went to therapy with me yesterday so he could learn to wrap my arm.  This has to be done every day for two weeks until the swelling is controlled.  Once I have learned what I do or don't do to make the swelling flair up I might not even have to wear the sleeve as often.  I have felt very good and my skin took the radiation very well. Several technicians and the doctor at Tacoma/Valley Radiation Center were amazed at how well I have done.  My thanks go to all of you praying and to the Lord for answering those prayers. 

I feel like celebrating today after my last radiation treatment!  I pray that I will have many, many more days to celebrate.  Having an illness like this can feel be sort of liberating after you've gone through it.  I feel free to enjoy life because I realize what is really important now.  I love every minute I can spend with family, friends and the people around me in general.  I also love quiet time alone to listen to my more mature thoughts about life and how precious it is.  I can't stress enough to those that are willing to listen that you don't know what you have till it is gone.  I didn't even realize how wonderful it is to be able to move freely until my hand and arm were bandaged up.  It will make me work harder on recovering from the Lymphedema.  Be thankful for your health, even if it isn't perfect. 

Maybe I'll get my hair back for Christmas!  My eyelashes are coming back so I know something is happening.  I've always had such thick hair and so many days I thought were bad hair days that I never thought I would be thanking God for my hair.  He has his ways!  I did thank Him for almost a year of not having to shave my legs. OK, sorry, too much information for the male reader.

Please keep those prayers on the rise and include John Shula, Orrin Daily, Rachel Caldwell.  Thank you so much!

September 12, 2007

I finished chemo on Wednesday, September 5th, and feel like I am on the road to recovery or at least I’m on the road to not feeling the immediate side effects.  I had a consultation with the doctor that will oversee my radiation.  This Friday I will have a simulation radiation appointment where they mark you with permanent tattoos around the area I will receive radiation.  It is permanent so that years down the road they would know exactly where the target is in case I have to have more radiation.  The doctor told me that I have a 40% chance of the cancer returning and with the radiation I will then have 15% chance of reoccurrence so I will go with the better odds.  They also don’t waste any time with Inflammatory Breast Cancer patients and want to get started right away with treatment so I will start next week.  The treatment will be Monday through Friday for 6 to 7 weeks.  My oncologist, Dr. Blau, has scheduled me for re-staging tests for December.  These are test such as a bone scan, chest x-ray and ultrasound to see just where I am at after treatment.  This will also be a one year marker since diagnosis.  After the first of the year she has requested that I have a hysterectomy.  Even though genetic testing showed that my cancer does not have genetic markers she feels it is best to have the surgery because it will lessen my chance for re-occurrence as well.  Again, I’m agreeing with anything she feels will help my case.  I have a lot of faith in Dr. Blau.  I ask for your continued prayers for the best results of all tests and treatment.  I have to admit to you and confess to the Lord that my faith has wavered these last few months so I also ask that you pray for my strength and faith.  The longer an illness goes on I believe the harder it is to hang in there and be positive.  Maybe when my hair comes back I will feel more normal again.  I keep reminding myself of my friend John Shula, and after fighting leukemia for about 14 years now his faith is stronger than ever.  We are both back to work and it is so good to see John back where he has longed to be.  I hope every student at Fife High School in his classes knows how blessed they are to have him for a teacher. 

July 18, 2007

It has been quite a while since my last entry.  I keep putting it off thinking I will have more news.  In reading the website from work today I realized I haven’t even made an entry since before my surgery.  My surgery, on June 6th, went well and I only spent one night in the hospital.  All tissue removed was sent to a pathologist.  I was told it would take a few days to receive the results and so spent most of the next few days enjoying family and friends that came to visit.  On Sunday I called the surgeon to ask a few questions about a minor thing that was going on and he gave me the preliminary report from the pathologist.  The good news was that there was no sign whatsoever of cancer in the breast tissue.  The bad news was that out of the 15 lymph nodes he took out of my armpit 6 had microscopic signs of cancer.  Microscopic enough that they hadn’t shown up on the MRI I had before the surgery.  My oncologist does feel like the treatment is working and is giving me four more rounds of chemo to be on the precautionary side.  I was disappointed with the news but in retrospect I am happy that the news was as good as it was.

I had my first of the four rounds of chemo on July 3rd and have tolerated it better than before.  It is the same drug with one more added.  I still look forward to my hair growing back more than anything and I think now that was one of my first thoughts when the surgeon gave me the news that I might have to have more chemo.  It is funny how I look back at pictures of myself that I thought were bad and now I look at them and think, “I wish I looked like that again”.  This whole experience has taught me to be more content with who I am and what I have that is for sure!

I have felt good enough to return to work which I did on July 2nd, the day after we returned from our cruise to Alaska.  It has been good to be back to work and have something else to think about.  I wasn’t physically able to work the three months I was off but now that I’m feeling better I didn’t want to sit home again and wait for chemo treatments to end. 

Please continue to pray for all those affected by this disease or any other for that matter.  I don’t know what I would do without the support of family and friends.

May 31, 2007

Praise the Lord!  I just returned from my appointment with my surgeon to go over the MRI results from yesterday and my MRI showed CLEAR!  Yes, no cancer.  Even the surgeon thought it was amazing.  He also said nothing showed in the lymph nodes.  I will still have the surgery, which I didn’t really consider an option of not happening and the surgeon didn’t say it was an option.  With my high risk of the cancer returning I don’t want to take any chances.  I don’t know what else to say except how relieved I am and thankful, to God, and to all who have been praying for me.  I’m looking forward to getting the surgery over with, hopefully recovering fairly quickly and enjoying every minute of life and our cruise to Alaska AND the birth of our granddaughter.  Life is good, enjoy every minute while you can and realize that relationships are the most important thing!

May 27, 2007

I kept thinking I would update my journal earlier than this but thought I would wait till the results from my MRI come back.  Now I’m feeling a need to ask for specific prayer for this.  I’ve had quite a bit of redness return and it is making me anxious.  The MRI is this Wednesday, May 30th, and I see my surgeon on Thursday to go over the results.  I saw my doctor, Dr. Blau, on Friday and she examined me and said she would be surprised if the cancer has returned or grown back this early but it could mean that the first chemo drug worked and the second didn’t.  She also said she didn’t want to give me anymore chemo.  I was relieved to hear that because I think it was one of my biggest concerns.  She said I am recovering well from the chemo, my blood count was the best ever, and that giving me more chemo would only prolong the recovery time and post pone the surgery.  The best thing now is to get the surgery done. I will try and update everyone after the results on Thursday.  Please pray specifically for good results from the MRI.  Also, please keep praying for John Shula, Orin Daily, Rachel Caldwell, Roger Miller and a friend of mine in Arizona, Terri, whom I just found out, has been going through breast cancer.  Also, all the family members and friends that are affected by their loved ones going through any kind of illness.  We need to thank the Lord everyday for the simple blessings of life.  I know this illness has definitely changed my prospective!  Love to you all!

This is a picture of a group of ladies and I that have all worked at Fife High School.  Some of you may recognize some of them.

Top row: Fran Morris, Gladys Smith, Alberta Robinson, Karla Herman (Veleke).  Bottom row: Muriel Ebinger, Sally Falconer and myself.

We had a luncheon at Grazzi’s to celebrate Sally’s fifth year of surviving breast cancer.

I love this group of ladies!  Most of us have known each other for over thirty years and it all started at Fife High School.  We started out working together and became fast friends and have always kept in touch.  Most of them are retired and get to spend even more time together.

May 3, 2007

I am one more chemo treatment away from being finished!!  Hopefully, anyway.  There is that possibility that I might have to have more after surgery and radiation but I pray that doesn’t happen.  I have an appointment scheduled with the surgeon on May 8th, sort of a consultation and informational meeting.  My “last” chemo is May 15th and a follow-up appointment with Dr. Blau before surgery, scheduled for May 25th.  I also have an MRI on May 30th to make sure everything is going as planned.  I don’t really mind all of these appointments.  It makes me feel taken care of and that things are moving forward.

May appointment on April 30th to see the doctor ended up being a long one for some reason and I believe that reason being that I ran into one of our maintenance men, Orin Daily, who is also battling cancer.  We were able to have a nice long chat, keep each other company during the wait and catch up on each other’s progress.  Please keep Orin in your prayers.  He’s hoping to return to work as well in the fall or sooner.

My side effects continue and I had to go back to the stronger shot I have the day after chemo to keep my blood count up so the pain in my bones is more prominent.  I felt really well today, the 8th day after chemo, so I’m hopeful that the bad days are lessening compared to the good.  I’m so excited to only go through the side effects of the shot one more time and that will make the days after chemo pass quicker.  Hopefully I will recover quickly from the surgery and the timing will allow me to enjoy the birth of my new granddaughter, which is scheduled for June 4th.  I’m praying she arrives early so that I can enjoy her and be able to help my daughter before my surgery.  God is so good!

I’ve become as much of a celebrity as I probably ever will by having my picture and story on the front page of our school newspaper.  Mikayla Irle did a great job incorporating my response to her interview questions into the article.  Thank you Mikayla!

Mr. McCrossin made me promise to come by for a visit on my birthday, which happened to be the same day as my second to the last chemo.  I was spoiled (again!) with cake and ice cream, gifts and cards.  It is going to take me years to repay all of the wonderful things he and the rest of the staff have done for me, which I pray I’ll have plenty of time to do.  Thank you for all of your prayers and please continue to pray for John Shula, Orin Daily, and Rachel Caldwell, just to name a few in our own district going through there own battles.

 “I will lift up my eyes to the mountains; From whence shall my help come?  My help comes from the Lord” Psalms 121:1-2

These were pictures taken on my last day of work for this school year. 

   My pal, Heidi.

April 2, 2007

My first day home and the start of my three months off from work to concentrate on getting well.  Above are pictures taken on my last day at work for this school year.  The staff and students spoiled me with flowers, a big get well card, and many wonderful gifts.  It was wonderful and somewhat overwhelming.  Fife High School is a very special place and I will miss it for the next three months! 

I have really been feeling well the last week so I figure I will have one good week between treatments to feel normal.  I plan on doing everything I can to help myself heal better and faster, exercising, eating healing foods and resting.  Of course getting to do some enjoyable things like spending time with my grandson I think will help too.  I’m sure I will be visiting Fife High School during my time off as well.

Thanks to all of you reading this for continued prayers and good thoughts.  A special thank you to the staff and students of Fife High School and the Fife District.  I couldn’t ask for a better support group!

March 28, 2007

After talking to my doctor, Bob and much prayer I have decided to take the rest of the school year off from work.  I had a melt down last Wednesday when I was home and felt like God was giving me time to step back and ask myself, “what is really important right now?”  My answer was my health.  It hadn’t really dawned on me to take off anymore time than what I needed to recover from surgery until that day.  I wasn’t even really sure what brought it on until I realized it had to have come from God.  Sometimes we need a knock on the head or something to make us stop and think.  Now that I’ve made the decision I have been surprised that most people wondered why I had kept working this long.  I think it is because I felt so good with the first round of chemo drugs.  I feel very blessed now to have the opportunity to take this time.  I can concentrate on healing, not just physically but mentally as well.  My sister-in-law said something that I found very interesting but true.  She said that I am going through a grieving process, grieving over the loss of good health.  Believe me when I say, and I know you’ve all heard this before, but you don’t know how good you feel until you have a serious illness or you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.  Be thankful everyday that you have your health and don’t ever take it for granted.  My cousin in California sent me the following prayer that I wanted to share with you.

          And God Said No

I asked God to take away my pride.  And God said, "No".

He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, "No.  He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, "No".   He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, "No".   He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said, "No".   He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said, "No".   He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said, "No".   He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.

And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!

By Graham Pockett

I will continue to update my website and send it to someone at work to download.  I want to thank the Lord for this time I will have and for the wonderful person, Kim, who will be taking my place at work.  She has truly been a blessing to me as she has been so gracious to come in on the spur of the moment when I’ve needed her.  I know that when I walk out of work this Friday, my last day till July 5th, I will feel total peace knowing that my position will be filled by a totally capable, caring person.

January 24, 2007

It has been awhile since I have given anyone an update and I also thought it was about time that I put the updates on the website.  I am still feeling strong.  I have had two chemo treatments and am scheduled to have my third on January 31st.  I haven’t noticed a significant difference in how I feel between the first and second treatments and am hoping that this will continue.  I did lose all of my hair, which has probably been the hardest part of all of this.  In saying that what can I complain about?  God reminds us that He will never let anything happen to us that we can not handle.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me!  Besides it is only temporary and I have the expectation of maybe a surprise that my hair will come back in different!  Maybe I’ll be a redhead or have straight hair.

The only other adverse affect that I have had is that my white count seems to dive a week after chemo even though I receive the Neulasta shot 24 hours after chemo to help prevent this.  For some reason I just have very sensitive white counts.  My doctor did put me on antibiotics this time and at least I haven’t come down with any illness to complicate things.  It is definitely a different world always having to be aware of germs, who around me might be sneezing or coughing, and taking my temperature at the slightest feeling of change.

I want to thank all of you for your prayers, thoughts, cards and emails of encouragement.  The journey is definitely easier when there is human contact.