2-28-07

During this long battle with cancer I have asked God for many things and to my disappointment he doesn't always say 'yes'. He says 'no'. This little poem I found helps understand why he doesn't always say 'yes'.

I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, "No".

He said it was not for Him to take away, but for me to give up.

I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, "No. He said her spirit was whole, her body was only temporary.

I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, "No". He said patience is a by-product of tribulations. It isn't granted, it is earned.

I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, "No". He said He gives me blessings, happiness is up to me.

I asked God to spare me pain. And God said, "No". He said suffering draws me apart from worldly cares and brings me closer to Him.

I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said, "No". He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.

I asked for all things that I might enjoy life. And God said, "No". He said He will give me life, that I may enjoy all things.

I ask God to help me love others, as much as he loves me.

And God said, "Ah, finally you have the idea!

By Graham Pockett

Hope the above poem gives you the encouragement it gave me. On Thursday, February 22nd I had another spinal tap to check my virus levels from the infection I have battling since last September. Beside me in the photo are my friend and nurse, Karlene, and the only doctor who I've had that can do the spinal tap procedure without causing me great pain. I always request him now.

The infection being tested for was a type of herpes virus that had infected part of my brain. Doctors told my wife back in September that I would either die from this incurable infection or need to spend the rest of my life in a home. To the doctors' surprise, the antibiotics began reducing my virus levels. Once the levels were close to a thousand or more and six weeks ago, after a steady decrease, went up again from 94 to 140. The doctors were elated that my levels were so low, but concerned they went up a little. On Monday, February 26th, I went in to see my doctor about where my levels were as indicated by last Thursday's spinal tap. My doctor just smiled and held out her hand making a zero shape. I was a little confused and then she said out loud 'zero'. 'Your counts are zero.' She explained I am now free of the disease and the potential side effects it could have brought. I immediately gave her a big hug and thanked her for helping me get to this point. It was a very happy moment for both of us. The word miracle has been used by doctors several times when discussing my recovery. I agree with them. So clearly, sometimes God says, 'Yes'.

This was a fun update to do. I am very excited to share this news. My main concern now is GVH (graft versus host disease). I am having some symptoms that concern my doctor a little. My eyes are really irritated and red as well as being itchy. My skin is itchy as well. I have to return next Monday to see if the symptoms have decreased. If so, we won't do anything. If not, we may have to put me back on Prednisone for a short cycle. I'm hopeful the symptoms decrease.

Hey…I can drive again! Unfortunately, both our cars are being used. One by Michelle and the other by my oldest son, CJ. Consequently, I don't get out of the house much unless a friendly neighbor gives me a ride.

"The little troubles and worries of life may be as stumbling blocks in our way, or we may make them stepping-stones to a nobler character and to Heaven. Troubles are often the tools by which God fashions us for better things."

Thank you to everyone for your incredible support over the long haul and for all your prayers. You make such a difference. I have some specific prayer requests:

•Continue praying for my healing and stamina so I can return to teaching in the fall.

•Pray for my son, CJ, as he goes in for knee surgery on March 16th (his birthday). He is having the same doctor that takes care of the Seattle Sonics perform the surgery. Hopes are he will heal quickly and be pain free for next year's basketball season.

•Pray for some of my friends who are battling cancer: Karen Gustafson, Karen Kramp, and Mary Fore.