March 14, 2004

Main Page • John's Journal (2000-2003) • CLL Information • Contact John • Seattle Cancer Care Alliance • MD Anderson

Been a while since I sat down and wrote in this journal. Actually, I had hoped that the cancer chapter of my life was behind me and that this journal would simply be a good way to reflect back on all the things I had been through. Sadly, however, reoccurrences of my leukemia has forced the battle with CLL (Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia) to continue.

In the spring of 2000 I had a bone marrow transplant using my own bone marrow and had hoped the cancer would have been cured. However, the cancer returned and a new treatment strategy would be necessary. In December of 2002 I traveled to Houston, TX to see Dr. Keating, the nation's leading CLL doctor, and he prescribed a six month treatment regimen of Rhytuxin, Cytoxin, & Fludara. He anticipated that this treatment regimen would wipe out most of the remaining cancer. I completed the treatments last spring and they were easily tolerated as well as effective in getting my blood counts back to normal. Unfortunately, the treatments were not completely successful. Bone marrow aspirations done after the treatments indicated I still had leukemia cells in my marrow.

As a result, Dr. Keating decided last July that my only hope of a cure would be to have a mini-bone marrow transplant from a donor. (more details about mini-transplants later) Fortunately, I live near Seattle, which is one of the best transplant centers in the world. Dr. Keating recommended I consult with Dr. Maloney here at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance about the eventual transplant. Last September Dr. Maloney said the best thing to do would be to monitor my counts and leave me alone as long as my blood counts remained stable.

Many good months have gone by since my visit with Dr. Maloney, but recent blood tests have shown a significant decline in my blood counts, indicating active leukemia. I have had a couple treatments in the past months to get the counts back under control, but my doctors have decided my break is over and it is now time to move ahead with the transplant. The SCCA (Seattle Cancer Care Alliance) has located a donor, a young female from Germany. Praise the Lord.

As of today, if all the final tests and arrangements go well, I am scheduled for transplant on April 13th. I will start pre-transplant work ups on March 31st. It's all happening way too fast. I will have to be in Seattle for three months and it will probably be about a year before I can return to work.

I can't say I am ready for all this. I have always tried to remain very positive and faithful. However, I am pretty overwhelmed right now and frankly, pretty scared. A transplant from a donor is riskier and my odds of survival and for a cure are unclear. There is a lot data which shows this procedure to hold promise for curing CLL, but I still fear the risks and the chance that the transplant won't work. Yet, as long as there is a chance, there is a reason to hope. I will be clinging to that hope and praying God will give me the physical, mental, and emotional strength to handle everything ahead. In addition, I will find strength in the love I have for Michelle, CJ, Kyler, and Tanner, they are the main reason I will never give up this fight, which I pray is in God's will for me to win.

Next