July 18, 2000 Journal Entry
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5 months post transplant. I would have to say life is beginning
to return to
normal. I am teaching summer school and am busy as ever preparing
for a new
job at the high school next fall and spending time with my family.
I clearly
recall laying in the hospital last February during my transplant
and dreaming
of summer time. Now it's here and I am enjoying family camping,
days at the
lake, watching my boys play ball, riding my bike, and everything
else
wonderful about summer and life. I thank the Lord every morning
for each day
he gives me.
I had a tough couple of weeks here recently. I was out for
a bike ride and
rubbed my forearm only to find a small marble sized lump. My heart
sank. I
was so down about it. Michelle and I went to the doctor and blood
tests
showed my hematocrit and platelet counts had dropped. Now I was
feeling very
concerned. My doctor said it is normal for my counts to fluctuate
after a
transplant. He also commented that a mass in the forearm was unusual
and he
thought it would be strange for it to be a cancerous lymph node.
For peace
of mind, however, my doctor recommended having the forearm mass
removed and
having a bone marrow biopsy done as well. If my cancer was back
it would
show up in one of the tests. Well, last Friday I had the mass
removed and
the biopsy done at the same time at Good Samaritan Hospital. The
surgeon was
my neighbor who took my Hickman out a few months ago. I was awake
when he
removed the mass. He showed it to me and said he wasn't sure what
to make of
it. I would have to wait to hear from the pathologist. The bone
marrow
biopsy is done by sticking a large needle into your pelvis from
the backside.
They give you Versed(amnesia med) and Phentenol (pain med) which
makes you
not feel a thing or remember any part of the procedure. I guess
it is a good
time to get you to say silly stuff though. (Some may say I am
medicated all
the time.) I told Michelle to keep me quiet. I didn't want to
embarrass
myself. I had no pain after the bone marrow biopsy. The next day
I rode 35
miles on my bike. Today I went to the doctor to have the pathology
results
of the mass and the bone marrow biopsy. I can't describe the feeling
I had
going into the tests. I was stressed to the point of feeling sick.
The
doctor came into my room, however, and said the tests showed no
signs of
cancer. "You are clean," he said. Michelle squeezed
my hand tightly and my
head fell to my lap as I sobbed tears of joy. Praise the Lord
for the good
test results. My family and I are so happy tonight. I think the
anxiety
associated with waiting for medical test results have to be the
absolute
worst. Of all my cancer experiences, waiting for tests have been
the most
difficult. Once I have the information I do pretty well. I deal
with it.
Waiting, however, is very tough for me. The fear of the unknown
I guess.
Recovery Information Summary:
Current Weight: 164 lbs. Down a few pounds from last check.
Getting the
weight back on has been tough. Cycling a lot doesn't help. I probably
am
guilty of overdoing it. I do eat like a horse though.
Energy Level on Scale of 1 to 10: 7 or 8 still. I know the
9 and 10 days
will come, but I will have to be patient.
Blood Counts..Checked on July 7th:
| Hematocrit | 5/23(41.5%) | Today(35.5%) | Normal(34-55%) |
| Platelets | 5/23(86,800) | Today(82,000) | Normal(150,000) |
| Neutrophils | 5/23(3,300) | Today(3,200) | Normal(7,000) |
| WBC's | 5/23(4,800) | Today(5,800) | Normal(7,500) |
The ups and downs of blood tests can be frustrating. I have
to realize,
however, that it is normal to see fluctuation after a transplant.
I continue to be thankful for everyone's prayers and all the
nice things
people have done for me and my family. When you go through something
like
cancer you see your true friendships grow even stronger and your
family bonds
even closer. Please continue to send your prayers of continued
healing and
thanksgiving for what wonderful things the Lord has done so far.
I also ask
for people to pray for my friend Tim Allen. He is a parent from
my school
district community. He is a strong Christian man with two wonderful
kids
and a very loving wife. Tim is currently going through a bone
marrow
transplant for Leukemia as well. Pray for a successful transplant
and for a
record breaking recovery time.
In our family devotions we read 2 Corinthians 12:9 which says,
"My grace is
sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness."
Cancer has
often made me feel physically and mentally weak and powerless.
Especially in
these last weeks. However, when I am weak...He is strong. I must
ask God
to forgive me for not trusting him more in these past weeks. I
thank Him,
however, for showing his power and grace and continuing to keep
me healthy.
May God's grace be with all of you.
Enjoy your day...it is a gift,
John
©2000-2003 John Shula-All Rights Reserved