August 19, 2001 Journal Entry

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Wow! It has been a year and a half since my transplant. Our days do pass swiftly. While enjoying some quiet time on this Sunday evening after tucking the boys in bed I felt I should write my journal update. If you are a regular you may have noticed it has been a while since I last updated.
For starters... I am still here and doing great! Thank you to all the awesome doctors and thank you Lord for giving me health.
My most recent check up about three weeks ago went very well. My weight is good and my blood counts are all in a normal range. I actually got the platelets above the 100,000(low normal) mark. They have been staying in the 80,000 range for about a year. My WBC count is about 6,500(normal). My hematocrit is 37%(low normal is 35%). I would like to see it at 42% which is where I used to be before cancer. Perhaps it is in my head, but cycling seems a little tougher. I can ride far but not at my pre transplant pace.
Part of me thinks it is due to a lower hematocrit. In reality, I don't train like I used to. I have check ups every three to four months, unless I have a concern. I don't think I will ever get used to those appointments. Even though they are just a short 15 minute doctor visit including a blood test.
Most of the time, I get to living my days pretty normally. The days right before a check up, however, are always a bit uneasy for me. I get frightened asking myself..."What if?" I am challenged to maintain a trusting attitude knowing God is in control. I know He is taking care of me, regardless of what happens, but I do confess I battle with the sin of worry.My family and I have been busy enjoying life this past year. I have a great job teaching at the high school. I didn't miss any school days last year because of cancer. I work hard but have so much fun with the high school students. My wife continues to teach half time, elementary school. She is such a great teacher. She's an even better wife and mom. I sure treasure
being with her. The boys are growing and active as ever with school, music, church, and sports. They grow and change so quickly. Being aware of this, I try to make the most my time with them. We've had a lot of fun this summer: camping, fishing, taking a cross country vacation to see Yellowstone and other great places out west...including stops to see relatives and good friends in South Dakota and Minnesota. Those trips with the family fill me with the best memories. This summer our family did many of the activities I once only dreamed about in the hospital.

One special highlight of my summer was walking the Survivor Walk at the annual Relay for Life event held near our home. The relay starts with a large group of cancer survivors walking a lap around the track together. Afterwards survivors get a medal. I have received two medals since my transplant. They hang in my den. I look at them everyday. They mean so much to me. My young nephew asked me one day why I keep the medals hanging up on the wall. I told him, "They remind that I am winning one of the toughest races I have ever been in." He said, "That's cool." I said I thought so too.

Sadly, I have watched two friends lose their battles with cancer this past year. As a cancer survivor, this is hard. These men were incredible. So courageous in their fight, so compassionate in their concern for their families even in their own suffering, and so full of life even when it was being drained from them. I will always remember them and hope I can have just a portion of their character in my own life.

In closing for now I just want to say I continue to rejoice in being given the gift of life. I cherish everyday. You may have heard, "The joy is in the journey." It certainly is. I pray if you are reading this you are enjoying your journey. If you are a cancer patient, I pray for you to be strong, maintain hope, and never stop fighting.

I'll try not to wait a year before my next update. I do look forward to writing my journal entry 50 years from now. It will happen.

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